


Pull It Together

by FuryFire



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Anger, Death, F/F, F/M, Graphic Violence, M/M, Magic, Monsters, Pain, Possible smut, Probably a happy ending, Rape, Slow Burn, Souls, Suicide Attempt, Violence, You Have Been Warned, beatings, mentions of self harm, please help me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2019-08-14 10:20:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 21,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16490732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FuryFire/pseuds/FuryFire
Summary: After a painful several months in the hospital, you are off to live with your close friend. Meeting Monsters on your second day out isn't what you had planned, but you aren't sure how you feel about it. After everything you've gotten done, you can feel it all unravelling at the hands of these kind monsters.This will be slow, but I will do my best.Character is mentioned as female, but not often. Updates may be sporradic, but after the first few chapters, they will be longer chapters.





	1. The Release

Your heart was pounding in your heart as wild as it could be. Your eyes were open wide, and for the first time, you were going to see something other than the small hospital they were making you stay in. Your wrists itched. You looked down as the sunlight hit you, and scratched at the rough skin. The sun was warm, and the humidity was low for the mid-summer day. You were glad to finally be able to feel it.

You looked up and smiled at the sight of the bright blue sky. You had never thought that you could enjoy the sky so much, and yet here you were. You finally allowed yours eyes to settle on the street, and the people passing by. Everyone was about their own business, as usual, but you were looking for one thing in particular.  _ Monsters.  _ You had heard about them, but you had never  _ seen  _ them. You were really looking forward to it, and although the nurses had described them to you, you had never seen them because the hospital didn’t allow patients to use technology. Unfortunately for you, that also meant T.V.s. Seeing none, you frowned slightly. Until you saw the crazy person waving at you from across the street.

You laugh softly. Cheyanne was something else for sure, but you thoroughly enjoyed her company.

Cheyanne barely looks at the street before darting across to meet you. One of the nurses beside you shifts to the side to make room for your friend.

“God, it’s so good to see you,” she says with a big smile.

You roll your eyes. “You saw me recently.”

“Well, I meant,” She stops to think of her words but shrugs, “ Outside of that damn prison of a hospital.” The nurse behind you scoffs, but says nothing. “Plus, we have so much to catch up on outside of here. Like all of my new friends!”

You smile, but deep down you’re hurt. You had left her behind, and she had made a bunch of friends that probably wouldn’t even like you.

“You can take her now, since you finished the paperwork last week,” a nurse says. Cheyanne smiles in response and takes hold of your arm to get you to cross the street. She leads you to the door, opening it for you, and then runs over to the driver’s seat to get in.

“So, my friends might be a bit much, but they’re all really nice. And the only one you actually have to watch out for is Sans,” she’s starting the engine as she lets you know. “He likes to play dumb jokes, but he’s pretty harmless. If for some reason he does… start anything, let me know, okay?”

You nod softly in response and adjust yourself in your seat as she takes off speeding down the street. 

Mt. Ebott was always so beautiful in your opinion. Not only the large mountain that loomed over the back of the town, but the town itself. The beautiful trees and the way that all the flowers seemed to bloom all at once. The air was always fresh, and the temperatures never dropped too low, but you did end up with some snow. This time of year was your favorite; just before tourists came in droves, and before it got too hot to even move. You smile as you close your eyes, your head bumping the window lightly. 

Cheyanne smiles again, and starts to rant about how work had been while you were gone. As she spoke, her hair bounces and her eyes are lit up, almost as if she had been dying to just talk like this again. As she speaks you admire how her figure had changed slightly. She had gained a bit of weight, but everywhere that she had wanted. Her hair was longer, the dark brown being lit up by bright sun-bleached streaks. Her brown eyes and tiny freckles were the same, but she had tanned slightly. Her dress was just above the knees, but it had been one you gave her since your small figure had seem to only get smaller and smaller. 

She looks over at you for a moment as she slows to a stop at a red light. “Did ya hear me bug?” She looks at the road again as the light turns green. 

“Ah, no. Sorry,” You say it while grimacing. You hadn’t meant to tone her out, it happened sometimes however.

“We’re going over for dinner tomorrow, and then one of the brothers is gonna hang out with you while I work Friday.” 

You sigh quietly. You had forgotten about the constant supervision. It was going to annoy you for awhile, and considering you didn’t even know these people yet only made it worse.

“It’s only for a little while hun,” She seems to wince at a thought, but grins after to make up for it. “Plus, you’ll love these guys!”

You doubted her words heavily. You could barely handle her sometimes. You hated people, and interacting with them only seemed to make it worse. You didn’t want to feel guilty for wanting to get away from there when you got there, which was going to make your anxiety all the worse. You were like a feral cat when you had to interact with strangers in a situation where you had to actually be there. You just wanted to sleep.

Cheyanne seems to want to say something, but she stops mid sentence and frowns. After all this time of you not being around, of you being gone, and you weren’t going to make an effort? After all those nights that she cried and blamed herself, and all those days where she screamed and threw the dishes, and the early morning where she was numb, and you were going to hole yourself up in your room? She was only trying to get you back into the world.

Your guilt ripped your insides into pieces before you finally spoke up. “I’m sure it will be fun.”

Cheyanne looks at you in surprise, “Yeah?”

You grin. “Of course. You have always been a good judge of character.”

This of course was no lie. She had known right away that your ex was cheating on you. Had known that your mom needed help, and always seemed to know who to try and be friends with.

_ “Then why is she friends with you of all people?” _

You sigh and shoo the voice away in your head. You didn’t need it to tell you what you already knew.

No one should like you. So why do you bother?

You knew the answer, but you didn’t want to think about it.


	2. The Trim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> all in the title. Sorry that this one is short too.

 

Your room, one that had been her spare only recently, was sparse in decoration. The walls were a deep blue, and the trim was a brighter, more vibrant shade. The bed had some plain bedsheets in your favorite colour, and a single pillow at the head of the bed. There was a dresser sitting beside it, three drawers, and smaller than the one you used to own. You sighed as you set your bag, Cheyanne had grabbed it for you, on the floor beside your bed. 

Cheyanne smiles at you, “We’ll go shopping soon to make sure you can decorate everything as you like. I’ll make sure to bring you some art supplies from the market soon enough too.”

You smile at her kindness. You really do enjoy drawing, and it had been such a long time since you had gotten the chance to do a proper piece, and not just some doodles on the side of your therapy journal. You would start as soon as you could, and the thought seemed to really brighten your mood. The room seemed more like opportunity now than loneliness. 

You nod to her and flop down on your bed. It was softer than anything you had slept on in awhile, and the groan you let out seems to satisfy your friend. She giggles softly, her hair shaking a bit in the process. 

“I know you just got home, but I figured you’d want to get a haircut and grab some stuff like clothes and soap,”she calls over her shoulder as she steps out of your door. You shoot up like a rocket and nod enthusiastically. You hated your hair being so long. It felt like it was in the way, and drew more attention to you this way. Your hair seemed to grow unnaturally fast, so despite it only being a few months, your hair was well past your shoulders. “I’ll take that as a yes then,” she says with another giggle.

You lean your head to the side, as if to ask when you were going, and she simply replies that she’d go put on her shoes. You hop back off the bed before darting over to the door like a child and struggling to get your shoes on as quickly as possible. You couldn’t wait. You needed to feel like yourself again, and this seemed to be the best way to start. You would grab the plain clothes that you preferred, the nice citrus shampoo and conditioner, and that long lasting scented body wash. Then you’d get a haircut and feel better.

 

The drive to the store was uneventful. However, when you had entered, you were amazed by how normal it felt inside, despite how it wasn’t at all to you.

There were so many Monsters there, just going about their business like it was nothing at all. Your eyes widened so far that everything you’d ever experienced before was tiny, almost nothing compared to the sight of these odd, sentient creatures you had never seen before. One of them, a pale lavender bunny, looked over at you as if you were the odd one, before waving at you with a soft smile. You waved back, happily taking a moment to look over at them.

“Bug, perhaps you should stop staring at them. You’ll have time to interact while we go through the store,” Cheyanne chides you softly. You give her a sheepish smile before nodding in agreement. You really wanted to get that haircut as soon as possible anyways.

She leads you through large aisles, helping you find what you needed, along with the food you had to eat, and grabbing a few things extra. When you got to get clothes she seems upset when she notices that you’re still underweight, and pushes down her sad frown to smile at you as you show her what you had picked. 

You both head to the cashier and you grin in excitement to see that it isn’t human. It’s a green fire elemental, and her smile eyes are trained on you as you set your things on the belt and stare up at her. 

Cheyanne looks slightly embarrassed as she explains that you’ve been kind of cut off from society for a long time, so you hadn’t seen any Monsters. The elemental nods, and takes the opportunity to flare up her flames, which causes you to go wide eyed and giggle in extreme delight.

“Oh gosh that’s amazing. _You’re_ amazing dude,” you blurt out as you continue to stare at her. Her face goes a dark red, and you smile even wider as you realize that she must be blushing. You thank her as you grab your bags and head off to your haircut with Cheyanne.

Cheyanne looks over at you and smiles. “They’re really cool, aren’t they?”

You nod in response and think more about how they’re even capable of being made up of fire and touching things. You’d have to ask if you ever meet another fire elemental. 

_“You’d just annoy them with your voice. You know better.”_

You sigh and refrain from saying anything. 

As the hair falls in large clumps onto the floor, you close your eyes and smile. You felt better now that it was finally going to be gone. You were going to be you again, and then maybe the voices would stop. 

Would they? The medicine never works, why would this?

Because, you seem to say to yourself, it just will. 

When you look in the mirror, you seem to feel better, even if it really is all just a lie to yourself.

  
You don’t sleep well that night. The fire burns, and your father’s voice resonates in your head.

_“Just keep your mouth shut. It’s your voice, that's why she's dead._ "

 

And your voice seems to lodge itself in your throat as you let out silent cries.


	3. The Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They weren't what you were expecting.
> 
> not that that's bad...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really really love the comments. Sorry if I don't always respond, but I'll do my best to answer all the questions! Son enough, once the plot really starts, everything will pick up and the chapters will be longer!

You wake feeling no better than you had the night before. Your eyes were puffy and red, and your whole body hurt worse than it had in a while. You wanted to cry simply from how uncomfortable you were, but you knew that you couldn't. You needed water. Water sounded amazing. You were salivating simply from the idea. So in response, you pushed yourself up in an effort to actually get some.

Fuck, your body hurt a lot. You hadn't really been expecting that, so you simply sigh and force yourself up. 

You take your shirt off and pull a clean one over your head. Your pants can be changed later, so you shrug and head out into the hallway. It's early, but not early enough for you to be super quiet in an effort to not wake your friend. You make your way down the hallway and look at the pictures hanging on the wall as you do.  She seems happy in all of them, and you can't help but feel jealous as you look at her family photos. You had never had a good relationship with your family, and looking at her pictures made it so painfully obvious. You swallow the anger and avoid the walls until you make it into the kitchen. 

You grab a glass from the cabinet, admittedly after several minutes of randomly opening them, and fill it with some water from the Brita in her fridge. You sip it happily as you sit down at her small table that acted as her dining room, and just sat there until you had finished your glass. You looked out the window above her kitchen sink, staring at that small blue patch of sky. Your mind was kind of numb, and you seemed to drift into your subconscious as you sat at that small table. You were going to be okay, right? There was nothing to fear here with Cheyanne, and you knew to eat and to try your best to stay healthy. You could do it... right? Your face scrunched up into an uncomfortable frown. 

"Hey, you ok?" Cheyanne sat down next to you, and you turned your head towards her sharply. Your eyes are wide, but you smile over at her anyways. You nod, and she does so too. "Well, that's good. My friends messaged me earlier and asked if we could stop over earlier, to help with dinner and to play some games. I figured you wouldn't mind too much," She says as she gets back up to grab something to eat. She isn't wrong, but you would have liked more of a notice. You just nod again and move to put your glass in the sink. You would help out with dinner, plus you loved to cook, so what could go wrong?

Well, in all honesty, a lot could go wrong. You could have one of your episodes, or embarrass yourself, or hell, you could be super rude and they could hate you forever and then Cheyanne would always hate you. Okay, maybe not the last one, but still, you could seriously mess up and you didn't want that to happen at all. You wanted them to like you because she liked them and she would be disappointed if they didn't like you, and you hated that. It was the disappointment that was one of the worst things to have directed at you, and you knew this all too well. you wanted her to be happy after everything that you had put her through. She deserved that. 

You groan and she looks over at you with her eyebrows raised in curiosity. You give her a lopsided smile and make a move for food. You grab one of the breakfast bars that your dietician said you should be eating if you really can't make an effort to eat anything else. You open the wrapper and crunch down without really thinking, ignoring the bland taste as you throw the wrapper away. You move to the couch and sit down. You space out for a short amount of time as you finish the bar. Once you finish, you make your way back to your room to properly change.

You wanted to make a good impression, and that meant you'd have to actually change your clothes and be clean. You put on some deodorant and some body mist before you left your room. Your hair was slightly puffed up after being having been weighed down for so long, but with some gel, you were able to lay it down flat again. You weren't too worried about your face, but to keep the eyes and cheeks clear, you wipe it quickly with a slightly damp cloth. You wanted to make a good impression, and as long as they didn't know about everything you could hold up a facade of being ok. And ok was a luxury that you hadn't experience in quite some time.

The last time you had felt okay was when you had held your mother close, her body warm but unmoving, and her sweet scent had drifted into your nose, and you felt that things could get better. That had been a long time ago now. The world was different, and she was no longer with you. 

You shake your head softly, trying your best to push those thoughts away. You would not let them push you again. You could be  _better._ At least you told yourself this, every day was a struggle, and so your mantra was born. You could be better, even if the world wasn't, you could make it so by being better yourself. At least, your therapist said that. Even if the world was crumbling around you, you could be better. You could try harder, and be your best.

You make it towards the kitchen again where Cheyanne is finishing up her own breakfast, and making a beeline for the bathroom. You smile at her as she passes and you sit down at the table to relax for a few moments before she lets you know what was really going to be going on next. You wanted some info beforehand, so you could avoid anything awkward or uncomfortable for them. You didn't have much of a clue, and you couldn't see anything working in your favor anyway, so a little info would be nice.

Cheyanne is back a few moments later, or so you think because you had dozed off once again, and she sits next to you. She is dressed in a nice blouse and jeans, and you can't help but envy the way her body seems to be in perfect shape, with gorgeous but healthy curves, and you frown slightly. She looks over at you with a concerned smile.

"So, you want to know how they are, don't you?" She looks at you knowingly, and you nod with a silent laugh. "Well, Toriel is very kind, but she's kind of a mom to everyone, so don't swear or do anything dumb. Undyne is really loud and strong, but she's very passionate and kind. You'll love her enthusiasm for cooking. Alphys is really shy, but you and she would probably get along over some science stuff. Frisk is quiet, but they always know what to say, and they try to make friends with everyone, so don't worry too hard about them. Papyrus is very very loud and has a hard understanding of boundaries, but he's really sweet...." she trails off, and smile wider. "Course Sans is really protective so don't get touchy or anything. He's really laid back, however, and has a nice sense of humor. " She stops talking and shrugs, having finished what she seemed necessary to say. 

You sigh again. This was going to be quite the odd group, wasn't it?

 

 

You stand slightly behind your friend as she knocks on the door. You shuffle and look down at your feet as you hear someone running up to the door. When the door opens, you look up...

Why is there a giant skeleton in the doorway?

 

 

Wait, she never said anything about them being monsters. 

You look at Cheyanne with an annoyed,  _"What the fuck?"_  , look and turn back to the very, very tall monster.

He stood with his head slightly stooped under the doorway, a large grin, and dark eyesockets that seemed to sparkle. He had on a bright scarf, and it was summer so it confused you more, and a neon yellow crop top with words that were slightly covered.  He was grinning down at the two of you, and it sent a shiver down your spine as you felt another set of eyes on you as well.

"AH! YOU BROUGHT YOUR FRIEND TOO!" 

He scooped you up into a tight hug that you felt breaking your ribs.

Your eyes widen and your heart rate speeds up. 

_"Oh please put me down."_

And you proceed to throw up all over his vibrant scarf.


	4. The Quiet Voice

You had thrown up all over the fucking skeleton.  _Fuck._ You hadn't really been expecting that at all and hadn't thought to say something to him as he reached for you. You groan softly as he pulls you off of his chest and peers at you before screaming in a voice that was all too loud, and far too close to your poor ears.

"OH NO! I BROKE THE NEW HUMAN!" His face is contorted in a way that makes no sense for a skeleton. He has a look of concern and downright devastation as a bunch of others come dashing in to see what the commotion was all about. There are a bunch of voices all talking loudly, and Cheyanne is rubbing your back and saying something. You groan and let your head roll back so that your eyes rest on the top of Cheyanne's head. You close your eyes.

Of course, you get jostled back awake and you scream slightly as the skeleton whips around and sets you on the ground. Your legs are shaking, and so you nearly crumble to the floor right there, but a large paw sets you right up again. The paw is huge, it engulfs your hand and a large section of your lower arm. You openly gawk until you come to realize that the owner of said paw has been speaking to you.

"My dear, are you alright?" You look up at the monster who was speaking. Her eyes were a deep magenta, and her expression was of unease. She was goat-like in the way her ears flopped, along with the horns and beautiful white fur that covered all that you could see. Her nostrils twitch as you blink at her several times before looking down at the floor with a shrug. You hadn't meant to be a bother, and now you were doing just that. Her paw moves to your shoulder and she squeezes softly as she asks, "Are you sure dear? You threw up on Papyrus."

You look up at the skeleton who was being wiped off by a very tall, fish-like monster, who had disgust written all over her face. You felt so damn ashamed at that moment, and your face went red as you looked to the floor again. The goat woman goes to speak again as the fish lady stomps over and glares down at your dark form. You stare at her boots for a moment before looking up at her.

Her visage was one of true fury and revulsion to your figure was enough to cause you to step back a bit. She had one eye, the other covered in a patch, and it was a blazing yellow and red. Her hair was a deep crimson and flowed effortlessly over her right shoulder in a braid. Her outfit was simple but was dark enough that it made it seem as if her blue skin was glowing. Her sharp teeth, much like razors or shark teeth, were bared at you as she sneered. She was about to bellow in your face when Cheyanne came to your side.  _Finally._

_"_ Hey, Paps scared her, and she has enough anxiety as it is guys," Her voice is obviously trying to placate the raging monster. She has an arm resting on your upper arm, and she keeps her eyes straight on the monster. The woman calms down slightly but still looks like she might just break you. She lets out a gruff noise as she turns away and frowns at Papyrus.

The goat monster sighs and looks to you and Cheyanne. "Why had you not mentioned this beforehand? We could have avoided lots of these issues." Her voice is quiet, but she seems highly disappointed. 

Cheyanne frowns as she speaks, "It slipped my mind I guess. Wasn't really expecting her to join us today." She turns and runs up to Papyrus without uttering another word to either of you. You frown and a deep ball of something unpleasant latches onto your stomach. You turn to the goat monster who holds her hand out for you to shake.

"I am Toriel, and I'm sorry that all of what has transpired so far has been unpleasant. I assure you that it isn't normally like this," Her smile is small but quite warm. As you shake her hand, her soft fur rubs against your hand and you can't help but gush inwardly about how nice it must be to get a hug from her. As odd as it felt, you're sure that she wouldn't mind providing you one, but you shake off the thought in fear of being rude. You really could not handle being more of a jerk at this point. It had upset you far enough already, and you were sure that the fish lady would kill you if you were. "Would you like to meet the others properly?" And like that, you are snapped out of your thoughts.

With your heart having finally slowed, you take the time to look at the house itself. It was large, and the doorways were huge to accommodate the giant creatures that resided here. Toriel herself was so very tall, and you seemed to have the clue that most monsters were. The walls were a deep purple, and the accents were white. The carpets looked extremely soft, (at this, you wonder if you should take off your shoes, but see that Chyanne still has hers on,) and it is a deep and warm grey. The walls are covered in tons of pictures and each one is so very different from the last. One, in particular, the whole frame covered in so many monsters in different shapes and sizes, all smiling down at a small child. The child has their eyes closed, and arms spread open as if to welcome what was to come. You smile softly and continue to follow Toriel into what looks like a living room. The couches are huge as well, and across from where the center one is, a huge television hangs on the wall.  As you look around, you suddenly feel so damn small. You were dwarfed by absolutely everything in this house. You wrap your arms around yourself as you look back to Toriel who seems to be having issues with pulling a small child from the couch.

When the kid finally waddles on over to where you stand, they nearly reach your shoulder, you recognize them from the picture. They have a soft smile and dark brown eyes. Their skin is a golden brown, and their hair is short and as dark as their eyes. They hold their hand out to you, and you shake their hand with another smile creeping up on your face.

"Their name is Frisk, " Toriel explains for you, and you seem to feel like the kid doesn't really talk, which is good because you normally don't either. "The others will be in here momentarily. They are just finishing cleaning up the doorway."

You blush again and look down at your shoes. Frisk smiles at you and grabs your hand. They go to lead you onto the couch where they grab a book of riddles and hold it open for you to read too. You smile full on as you whisper one of the shorter ones on the page to yourself. Below it is a line to put the answer, or at least you think it is, and Frisk hands you a pencil as if they were reading your mind. You think it over for a moment, before putting down an acceptable answer and looking to them for confirmation. They smile and nod at you enthusiastically.

You go to read the next one when everyone else makes their way to the couch. You look up to see the fish lady, a small dino, and the two skeletons looking down at you as they settle onto the couches. Cheyanne sits at the far end to sit next to the shorter skeleton. He has his eyes closed, and his body is slumped against the couch as soon as he touches it. Papyrus is looking over at you in anticipation. He seems worried, so you smile over at him. This alone calms him and he seems to smile wider, and how he does that is still mulling over in your thoughts. 

Toriel smiles down at you before asking you to introduce yourself.

You grimace but comply with a soft voice to give all of them your name and a cautious smile.

The fish lady is Undyne, and the dino is Alphys, and within a moment you realize that they are dating. Deep down you ship it. Sans, the shorter skeleton, merely waves his hand, his eyes still closed, before going back to what you assume is dozing. Cheyanne still doesn't really look at you all that much. She seems to have her attention taken up by the skeleton sitting beside her. She has a smile on her face that makes you uncomfortable. It holds so much affection. Deep down you feel slightly replaced.

You smile the growing ball in your stomach.

 


	5. The Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welp, this is the end of that first meeting of everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, come to see [My Tumblr](https://bubble-bums.tumblr.com/) for some special stuff for the story! I'll be posting art and requests and questions there.

You were an awkward mess, as usual. You had no clue as to what to say, and you were even having a hard time breathing at the prospect of having to talk. Toriel was kind to you anyways. She would smile as she walked by, or bring up topics that were broad enough so you could enjoy them. You still didn't talk much. You enjoyed watching the way the group seemed to bend and flow among each other so easily. Okay, wrong wording, but you knew what you meant. Everyone there seemed to work with everyone else so perfectly. They all seemed to know what to say and do, and they never missed a beat.

Cheyanne seemed right in her element with them. She would smile, make jokes, and laugh like nothing else in the world mattered. She seemed to be so perfectly at ease, that it made you smile slightly. She, at this moment, was touching Sans' arm slightly, struggling to get the rest of a joke out as she laughed. Sans had his eyes open and a wide smile as he drank in her expression. He seemed excited to see her laughing so hard at her own joke. Papyrus, loud as he had been when you had first got there, was screeching about how puns were so awful and that "THE HUMAN", needed to stop encouraging his brother. His loud voice had stopped bothering your poor ears, but the way he was so dam large, hadn't. Whenever he swung out his arms or made an exaggerated hand gesture, you flinched back and had to calm yourself again. 

Sans had noticed this, and every once in a while he would stare at you for a moment before turning back to the others. In return, you would smile at him and then look down at your hands. You didn't want him to think you were grossed out or angry, you were just confused and anxious.

Not to leave out the fact that Cheyanne had seemed to leave you alone to deal with your first interaction with these new people. She had let Papyrus nearly throw you without so much as a word, and acted like she had no idea you were even going to come. She  _knew_ that you would be out of the hospital long before you had gotten out. She had known that you were going to be staying with her because she had asked you. And on top of that, she had made a big deal about you coming over to meet her  _friends._ You were supposed to be her best friend, so why had she left you hanging there? You sighed as you tried to revert your focus back to the conversation.

"-and just like that, the kid went sailing into my arms. I couldn't believe my eyes," Undyne is frantically waving her hands, and she has this look of excitement and glee as she finishes up her story. Her red hair bounces every time she moves her head. She turns and eyes you, "So, why haven't we met ya beforehand, punk? Cheyanne mentioned being away for some foreign exchange program-"

The look you have on your face stops her as she speaks. You are so damn confused? What? Why had she told them that? And then it hits you like a stack of bricks to the chest. She was  _embarrassed,_ wasn't she? She was mortified about having her friends find out where you had been. Is that why she hadn't said anything? Your mind is racing with all of the possibilities, and you turn to Cheyanne. Her eyes are wide and pleading, and she looks away in shame as you glare at her from your seat.

The living room is thick with tension as you thought of what to say next. You had no clue. Your heart was racing a mile a minute. Why was this all laid on you after only a day, barely even that, and why did you have no help? She was supposed to be your friend, and now with this, albeit not that awful, betrayal, you were dampened. Your mood had curved straight down, and now you had no control over what you were going to say. Hold up her lie, or tell them a partial truth?

You sigh and look up at the monsters who have been quiet, all of them staring you down.

"I've been gone for a while, but not really to a school. I was just, uh, working for a hospital for a while. It's why the majority of my garbs are hospital wear. Got to meet some pretty interesting people, but if I'm being honest this is the first time I've actually been around Monsters properly," You smile slightly and read their reactions as you look at each of them. 

Most of the group seems content with this answer because it would probably explain why you were so skittish. Sans and Toriel both seem to be skeptical but don't say anything to try and learn more. You sigh again when they decide to start talking again, and the attention is drawn off of you.

Toriel stands gracefully and calls over her shoulder as she walks, "If anyone would like to help me in the kitchen, they can." Immediately you stand and run after her. One of your passions, of the very few that you have, was cooking. You loved to cook because, in all honesty, it was one of the easiest ways to please someone, and you had been doing it since you were young. You loved the way that it had become second nature to you to do things a certain way, and how you had the most control over yourself and your environment as you worked in the kitchen. 

You hear Papyrus stand up too, but a quiet voice mutters something, and he sits back down with a, not really, mumbled, "O-Oh YEAH". You frown slightly before trying to catch up to Toriel who had made her way through the doorway of the kitchen already. you smile at how uniform and calm it is in the room. The lighting was good to, just enough to see what you were doing, without blinding you. It was the perfect way to have things done, especially if people were to go in there first thing in the morning. 

The countertops were a deep gray marble, smooth and cold to the touch. The wood itself was dark, and not of a tree that you recognized. The walls were a light grey, and the floor was a soft wood that matched the wood of the cabinets and such. You like the way it was set up, and it was spacious enough for multiple people to be running around without causing much distress.

Toriel was grabbing things out of the cabinets and the drawers as she looked to you. You smiled.

"So what are we making?" Your enthusiasm made her smile and she pulled one final thing out of the cabinet and set it on the counter. 

"The food is actually already done, just cooling down on the counter in the back. We are however going to make a pie and have some tea if you do not mind, of course?" She smiles as she grabs some of the fruit on the island in the middle of the kitchen. You nodded and went to grab the crust she had pre-made, you think so at least, and set it next to the fruit that she is cutting up and mixing with a dark, grape smelling liquid. You set what she is making and cutting into the crust every once in a while, very carefully, before realizing you haven't washed your hands. You grimace and stop. You look around and find the sink, quickly rinsing off your hands in hot water and returning to Toriel. 

She laughs quietly as she helps you set the rest in. You had a large heap of dough, to cut into strips and set over the top. She moves to the stove and sets it to preheat before shrugging and turning it back off. 

You give her a look of confusion before she holds out her hands.

They are on  _fire. WHY THE FUCK IS SHE ON FIRE?_

The look on your face must be amusing because she outright laughs. 

"It is my gift, child. I can produce magic. You are aware that we are magic, yes? Well, this is mine," She gives no more explanation. She hands you a knife handle first, to cut up the dough. You get to set to work before Cheyanne pops up in your peripheral. 

A moment of pause before she calls out your name in anger, "Put the fucking knife down." She's reaching out for you, and you step back confused and upset. She's yelling now, but you can't really hear her. Your heart drowns out the noise, and you can feel it pounding against your ribs. You start to shake.

Toriel has her arms wrapped around you. She's holding you. She smells like cinnamon and earth. It's calming, and it reminds you of your own mother, and the way she used to sing you songs before bed before your father took over in her final days. His voice was always gruff, and at some point, he stopped singing songs to you. His scent will always haunt you-

"Why are you screaming at her?" Toriel is defensive but in a motherly way. She wants answers, and it seems only natural for everyone to give into her. "She was merely helping finish up the pie sop we could place it in the oven."

Cheyanne, although you can't see her, seems at a loss for words. It takes her a moment to respond, "I don't know Tori. I'm sorry." 

You only hear her footsteps as she retreats, but nothing else. You can't feel much, other than the dampness of your cheeks from tears you hadn't noticed.

Toriel rubs your back soothingly until you feel like you can step back. She smiles down at you, fixing your hair with her paw. Now that you're up close, you can fully tell that she is a good two feet or so taller than you. You feel small again.

"Ah jeez, two in one day," you sheepishly admit to yourself, and to her,"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause you so much trouble."

Toriel smiles at you softly before shaking her head. She tells you that everything is okay, and the two of you finish making the pie.

 

It was one good damn pie.

 

 

 

You sit at the table next to Papyrus, who has started talking to you about his intense love of puzzles, and Toriel, who seems to try and keep the conversation between everyone age appropriate considering the child who was sitting at the table across from you. Undyne is laughing her ass off again and seems to smile at you as you comment about how cool it must have been to beat the master at her dojo.

Apparently she now runs it, but at first, the master had been reluctant to hire her, but when she flat out beat him, fair and square she says, he had to hire her. You smile at the thought of how scared he must have been. This causes you to giggle, and she starts laughing again.

Cheyanne is next to her and Sans, who sits next to Papyrus. Alphys is talking to Frisk about needing to make some alterations to their jetpack? Toriel and Sans are making puns back and forth, and they cause you to giggle some more, which makes Toriel make a ton more.

You eat well for the first time in a while and fall to your bed that night exhausted. You slowly undress and fall back to it before drifting to sleep.

You dream of cinnamon and angry voices that night.


	6. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of the Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, yes it's short, but I figured you all wanted answers. Next chapter will be very dark, so look at the tags, my friends.

Although it was hard for you to admit, you knew that you and Cheyanne needed to talk. You had been gone for so damn long, and at this point, it felt that so much of the girl you once knew was gone. You wanted to ignore the way she had treated you at dinner, the one she had insisted that you go to, to meet  _her_ friends. It was something that was nagging at you, now deep down in the bowels of your body. You could feel your stomach churn at the thoughts of what this all could be. The pain would flare up in your head as you tried to get your head around it all. You had no clue what you were going to say, but you knew you had to say something. if you let her get away with this, it would eat at you for forever. 

You sigh heavily, allowing your head to hit your headboard with a loud, 'thunk', and closing your eyes. You didn't even want to be here in the first place, and you were still getting crap. You were so sick of people telling you that you had them there for you, but when you really needed them, they were nowhere to be found. It has always been your greatest problem with having friends; they could never follow through. You didn't want to deal with this anymore. You had asked them to just let you be, but they drag you out into the world again and leave you off on your own.

_Oh god, you wanted your mom so bad. She'd make everything better._

You crumble into yourself and allow the tears to cover your cheeks as you scream silently. Why couldn't things just be better? What was so wrong with you that you had to endure the pain all alone? Were you really so hopeless?

Your heart is straining and your body starts to burn as the familiar itch begins to eat at you. 

_"Just do it. No one cares anyway."_

"Just calm down." It seems to call to you in your mother's voice, "Just calm down dear, it's okay."

_"But Mommy... it's not okay...Daddy is so angry at home. I just want you to come home, Mommy!"_

_"I can't yet dear. The doctors said it would be soon though."_

_"Why can't you come home now?"_

_"My brain is still swelling dear. If I go home now, it might stop working."_

_"oh..."_

_"it's alright dear, don't you worry about me. It's not your fault."_

_"Daddy says it is. He's mad, Mommy, so mad."_

_"It isn't dear, don't ever believe that. He's just hurting, ok?"_

Her voice fades out in your mind, and your mind comes crashing back down into reality. Your heart is going far too fast, and your eyes are in so much pain. Your arms are covered in bleeding indents from where you were pressing your nails down. Oh god, why did that have to happen now?

You reach onto your bedside table and grab the pills you were ordered to take. Swallowing them dry, you lie down on the bed and try to drift off again.

You don't dream.

 

 

Your heart races for the thousandth time that day. Your eyes were kept low and hooded, but your giveaway was the way you rapped your nails against the counter in a rapid, constant motion. She was sitting across from you, a mug of tea in her hand, and she was sipping it as slowly as possible. She had agreed to talk, under the condition that she finishes her tea first. Her eyes were low as well, and her hair was a mess, bunched up around her head as if she had just woken up. With this, you sigh heavily and glare softly at the mug in her hands. You just wanted this over with, and all she wanted to do was prolong the inevitable.

After another few minutes, she sat the cup down and moved past you and into the living room, where she sat herself down on the couch with a huff. You followed her and sat in the small chair that was perpendicular to where the couch was. Your hands fall down into your lap, clasped together in hopes to keep you from shaking. You were afraid of what she was going to say to you. You had no clue what was going to happen to you, and if you were going to have a place to stay after.

She coughs to gain your attention, and waves her hands as if to tell you to 'go on". 

You frown slightly, "What happened yesterday? Why were you acting so cold?"

She sighs as if thinking that the answer was so obvious, and you were just stupid. "I didn't want to be a part of it. You've caused so much fucking trouble in my life. I wanted to be able to be with my friends, and have a normal day, but you freaked out over a fucking hug right off the bat."

You shake your head at her in complete anger and confusion, "I freaked out because without warning he grabbed me and basically threw me in the air. I was upset and got sick because of it! Don't you fucking dare tell me that all my problems are causing you so much shit. You fucking screamed at me yesterday for no good reason, and let me freak the hell out in front of  _your friends,_ without helping me." Your hands are shaking vigorously now, and the anger is rolling off of you in waves.

She snarls at you and nearly jumps off the couch. Her eyes are open and wild, and her teeth are grinding together heavily. Like this, her beauty seems to be gone completely. "You fucking left me! You left me off on my own, for months and months, without a single fucking goodbye. How the fuck, is it that I am supposed to act as if nothing happened? I have to go to therapy because of you, and so much of my life got fucked up because you were so damn selfish!"

You grimace and look at her with an emptiness in your eyes that hadn't been seen for a long time. "Don't you fucking blame me. You weren't there for me in the first place."

She stands up for real this time, and her hair flows around her head like dark waterfalls or upside down flames. She's ferocious and furious all at once, and you're suddenly so afraid of this hurricane that is your friend. "You fucking piece of shit. I WAS THERE, EVERY DAY, ASKING YOU IF YOU NEEDED ME. YOU left ME behind. That is your fault. You decided that killing yourself was the better idea than what I had offered. And I'm so fucking sorry that you fucking failed because  _CLEARLY,_ you aren't happy here. And I know that you had your reasons and that it still fucking hurts, but you can't fucking blame me for giving up on someone who didn't even want to be helped."

You stand up and glare with all the anger in your heart. "You fucking let him, and you know it. You let him just add to it after you had found out for a fact that I can't handle shit like that. You let him do it, knowing what my father did."

"Oh fuck you, slut. You probably fucking wanted it."

You stop and stop breathing, and stop being capable of what comes out of her mouth after that. 

She was blaming you? Someone you loved so dearly, was blaming you? Cheyanne?

Your heart was suddenly pounding harder in your chest than it had ever before. You couldn't stand the thought of what had caused her to have so much hate. 

And suddenly the world was spinning and you were heading towards the ground far too fast. The air around you went dark and thick, making it hard to breathe any of it in.

And all you could hear was your heart and Cheyanne screaming.

 

 

 

 


	7. The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING*  
> This chapter has heavy explicit, and detailed scenes of violence and very descriptive scenes of rape, and child abuse, mentions of suicide, death, blame, and self-harm are throughout the chapter. Please continue at your own risk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.

You huddle against the corner with all of your might. The room is dark, and you can hear the yelling from downstairs. You don't quite understand but you know that Dad is drunk again. His voice permeates through the floor, and you can't help but shiver when something is slammed against the wall. Your heart races as everything goes quiet, and your heart jumps in your throat when your mother screams. You want to stand up for her, but you aren't brave enough. You stay still.

The screaming stops.

 

You're outside with Mom on the porch, watching you. Her smile is soft, but her face is pained. She couldn't go to work today because of the bruise on her face. Dad says that she hit her head on the cabinet door when she was making breakfast. You know that they are lying, but you don't say much. You're only nine anyway. Mom stands up as a blue pickup truck rolls up out front of the house. She walks down, her skirt flowing around her legs in a way that makes her look otherworldly. 

 _"She's so beautiful,"_ you think for a moment before going back to your doll. She's missing a doll, but you decided that that was because she had donated it to someone to save their life. You figured that was better than admitting that some bully had torn it off and made you cry. 

The doll was dancing back and forth, singing a made-up song and making you giggle as you tried to think of what she was going to do next.

Mom was arguing with the guys in the truck, but you didn't hear much. you were now standing up and dancing back and forth with your doll, singing loudly the song you were making up. 

The truck drove away, and Mom huffed with defeat before smiling back over at you. You were twirling and winding and bopping and hopping in the street, not a care in the world. Your mom made a move to follow you, but your voice stopped her partway, as you called to her. "Hey watch me, Mommy!"

Neither of you saw the car that came speeding up the road, and at your mother. 

She was found partly mangled in the street when the ambulance finally arrived.

 

Your father threw you in the back seat of the car, and not bothering to check if you were buckled, got in, and sped off back home.

He was angry, and this scared you more than you cared to admit. When Dad was angry, you best be out of the way and let Mommy take care of him. But Mommy wasn't here, and Dad was angrier now than he had ever been before. 

"What the fuck were you thinking?" He calls your name and then whispers your Moms before growling, "You should know better than to play in the street."

You don't say anything, knowing at this point that he doesn't want you to answer him. He doesn't want to hear your voice, and he doesn't want to hear some half-assed excuse. He just wants to go home, eat, and figure shit out. He looks at you through the rearview mirror and seems to be pondering something, but he doesn't say anything at all. The rest of the ride is quiet, and when you get home, he mutters to you to get in bed, you weren't gonna need dinner.

You wake up to him curling around your body and crying softly that he missed your mom. You apologize and cradle his large face in your small hands. He tells you to be quiet. He falls asleep later on, and you fall asleep soon after.

 

Your mom smiles up at you through a mess of bandages on her face. Dad is behind you, and you hear him sigh with relief. He seems happier now that he can see her.

He moves to the side of her bed, his sad blue eyes glistening up at her as he cradles her delicate hand against his cheek as he mutters to himself and her. You stand back and watch quietly, knowing you would have a turn shortly before you had to leave. Dad needed his time with her more than you did. He needed his assurance, and you were aware that if he didn't get it, you would be getting more than you asked for.

He eventually moves away from her and ruffles your hair as he goes to talk with the doctor. Mom smiles at you softly.

"How are you dear?" Her voice is weak, but it's there, and so you quietly tell her about how the end of your school year was going, and how you were sleeping well.

She seems to be happy with this information, and she strokes your cheek affectionately and closes her eyes as she drinks in the feeling.

You say nothing the whole ride home. Dad doesn't like when you talk.

 

Dad slams his cup against the table and growls at you as you nearly drop another plate that you were cleaning. You mutter an apology and try to get back to work, but he slams his palm against the back of your head. He mutters for you to keep your mouth shut. Your head is ringing, and everything is blurry, and for a moment you can't hear anything but the ringing in your head. You step back and try to get your bearings, but everything seems wrong, and you can't help but feel betrayed when all he does is glare at you as he moves to sit back down.

You finish the dishes with no other issues.

He climbs into bed with you again that night and apologizes over and over, and for a moment you feel better as he holds you and tells you he loves you.

You fall asleep.

 

Your mother is dead. It's a thought that doesn't quite make sense to you because the doctors had assured her that she could go home soon. Dad had been so hopeful, but the news had broken him as soon as he had hung up the phone. He slid up against the wall, his disheveled hair shadowing his eyes slightly, but you knew the way he cried all too well. You sat next to him and leaned your head on his shoulder, letting your tears fall freely. He picks you up a moment later, his face broken, and set you in his lap, and cradled you until neither of you has a tear left to cry.

 

He cleans the gash with a small wipe, saying nothing as you cry out from the way it stings. He hadn't expected you to just cower when he had thrown the glass, but he figured it would have to do with the newfound cowardice that had bloomed within you. You never stood up to him anymore, and even with summer coming to a close, he knew you wouldn't say a word. With this information, he was suddenly overcome with a sense of need.

He locked himself in his room that night to keep you away from him.

 

His hand squeezes your throat harder, the purple necklace around your neck, spotted with green, was growing darker the more pressure he placed on it. You were choking, tears slipping from your eyes and over your red cheeks, as your lips started to turn blue. Your eyes were closing, and so he lessened the pressure and slapped you.

"I said LOOK at me, you fucking twat? Come on! Your mother was better than this."

Your eyes snapped open, and the sudden anger and defiance in them made him smile. He grinned with the glee of a predator upon his prey, and he snapped his jaw around your shoulder as he slowly pulled your skirt down. His teeth were sinking in, and the blood was dripping slowly as he squeezed it harder. His hands were rough, and on that note, so was most of his skin. It was the opposite of your frail and precious skin that he so adored at this point. His lips find yours quickly, and stroke them softly, testing you for a moment. His breaths were growing erratic, and he moved to pull you up farther on his lap. His pants were already gone, and you knew that what was going to happen next, was so utterly wrong.

He looked at you for a moment, a desperation deep in his eyes that told you some part of him regretted even the thought, but when he snapped his hips forward and slammed his member into you with the speed and force that was far too much for someone so small and fragile as you, you knew it was gone. 

Your body spasmed, and your breaths grew short and ragged. You screamed out in pain and your eyes scrunched up in fear of what you would see. The pain did not ebb away, and your flesh was covered in pain, and sin, and hate.

 

You lie in your bed, no tears, no pain. It's been far too long at this point for you to know any different. Your body aches, but in a dull throb that goes unnoticed.

Your father climbs into the bed with you, grinding his body against yours, knowing you won't resist. And you don't, even as he shoves himself into you and groans against you in relief.

 

You sigh in relief again as Cheyanne confirms that your father is in custody. Your smile seems only to grow, even as the tears fall.

 

Niall is on you in an instant. You're trying to push him off of you, but you can't, he is far too big. You cry out as he whispers against your skin, and starts to strip you. Your heart stops as he finally takes what he wanted all along. His groans and sighs sound all too familiar, and you know that you won't be able to get it out of your head when he finally leaves you, used and abandoned.

 

Cheyanne doesn't know what to say when you tell her. She only nods mutely and takes off to her apartment.

 

You are alone in your apartment. Your eyes are clouded, and your hair is far too long for your comfort. Your eyes are trained on your wrists, and the hazy color that seeps out of them. Your mind is foggy, and you can't quite recall how you had ended up at this point. Your heart beats dully, and the color continues to seep through the slits in your skin. You don't know what else to do but wait in the cold of your home. You don't have much that you could call your own anymore, and not even the color in your skin and blood seemed to be yours anymore.

The worlds went grey as the voices in your head told you quite clearly why you were at this point.

_"You let this happen."_

_"You couldn't stop them, you are weak."_

_"You need to just disappear. No one wants you anyways."_

_"Who cares?"_

_"Useless, useless, useless."_

_"Just give up."_

_"Give up."_

_"Don't give up..."_

 

 

You are barely conscious as the white of the room crawls past your eyelids. You hear faintly on the television hanging on the wall about odd creatures crawling from the depths of the Earth.

 

 

Cheyanne sits across from you as you try to recollect why you were here. She sighs loudly as you stay quiet and try to gather your thoughts. She leaves only a few minutes later, not even trying to understand how you feel. The bandages itch, and nothing feels quite right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"...hey, you okay kid?"

"My child, please, it's alright. Are you ok?"

A small hand is brushing up against your cheek, coaxing you awake. You open your eyes slowly, the tears flowing softly, and you meet the eyes of the child cradling your head. You reach out slowly and pet their hair. Your eyes close again for a moment, and Toriel grows nervous. You look up at her soft eyes, and smile a very small smile, and try to sit up.

Your body aches, and you come to realize that everything really hurts, but you also feel really empty.

The room grows hushed as you realize that there is a small glowing heart in front of your chest.

You look up in confusion at the small group of monsters huddled around your form. They are all concentrated on the small heart. You shiver as the thought that it's yours, dawns on you. You cup your hands around it protectively.

'What's going on," You croak out, your voice breaking and body shivering as you do.

'That is your soul dear. All that you are. And it should not look like that." Toriel explains as she presses her paw against it, and it pops back into your chest. 

You frown, but say nothing in return.

 

 

 

 

 


	8. The First Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans is questioning a few things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Come find me on my [Tumblr](https://bubble-bums.tumblr.com/)

Your heart is in your throat, and your voice can't move past it. Your eyes are stone, and your mind is empty. You know not what to say, or what to do with how you feel. You can't quite place the feeling in the pit of your stomach, but you know it is something akin to fear. Sans has his face in your direction, but his eyesockets are dark, and with this, you shiver. He looks angry and dangerous. You don't quite understand why he is looking at you like this, but you have a feeling it has something to do with Cheyanne.

When you woke up, you were in Toriel's home again, in a small room upstairs that was sparsely decorated. You hadn't expected her to be there, but it didn't stop you from hoping she would be. Toriel was concerned as to what had transpired, and you vaguely explained that she had said something that had caused a panic attack, and so your body had seized up, and you passed out. Although she took the explanation, she seemed to want more. She didn't press it, however.

Sans had stayed, long after everyone had left, and decided to sit and watch you. He was waiting for something. You weren't sure what it was, but you hoped he found it soon.

"so what happened," his voice is low and gravelly, and you realize that this is the first time he had ever spoken directly to you. His face is calm and eery, the smile not moving from his face as he waits for an answer.

"Well, what do you really mean by that? I told you what happened," and this isn't a lie. You had told them the truth, you just hadn't given all the specifications. Your eyes drift over his face as you think. "Do you want to know what she said?"

"no. i want to know what you did. Cheyanne kept blabbering on how you pushed her and tried to hurt her." At this new information your face flares in anger and you grit your teeth. Your head turns back down and towards your hands that rest in your lap. Not waiting for you to respond, he continues, "i know Cheyanne pretty damn well, we've been friends for months, and she's never lied to me before. so what happened?"

"She was angry. I was upset that she had left me on my own when we came over for dinner. She gave me less than useful information and didn't tell any of you that I might have an issue with basically being thrown, and for fucks sake she's supposed to be my best friend, but she completely ignores the fact that I just got out of the goddamned hospital-" You stop to breathe and you huff in anger as you realize how much you just said. Sans is still glaring, but less at you than anything else. 'i just got out of the hospital. I wasn't fucking working there. I was admitted to the Psychiatric ward about six months ago, before that, I had been in the hospital under close watch because for a while I was at death's door."

"oh. well how the fuck did that happen?"

"Well, me. I did it, and I'm not about to give you my whole life story, but yeah. I did try to end my own fucking life. And I freaked out because she blamed the causes and reasons on me, all while trying to say she was there for me. And she wasn't for most of it if anything." You sigh loudly, falling back into the pillows of the bed. You can tell he is still staring at you, but you try to ignore the tingly feeling of his eyes on your form.

He waits a few moments before saying anything else. "why'd she lie? if she did," his voice sounded doubtful, but he was slowly connecting the dots. 

"She was probably embarrassed or didn't really want anything to do with me anymore. Or maybe, deep down she blames herself, and didn't want to face the truth." You look over at him, and his eyelights are back. His smile has fallen, and he looks confused. " I have proof, you know."

He looks up at you again, and you hold out your wrist for him for a moment, so that he can see the raised skin of the scar going from wrist to elbow. He reaches for them for a moment, before dropping his hand. You pull back your arm and pull it all the way to your chest. You feel shame creeping up on you, and you can't help but feel stupid. Why had you bothered to tell him any of this? It's not like he really cared.

"fuck. i honestly had no clue." he says nothing else, but the two of you stay where you are, not really needing to say anything else. "well, we should probably start over, huh?"

You look up with hope in your eyes. You felt no need to really keep all this awkwardness between you, so you accept his offer and stand up. He puts his hand out for you to shake, and you do so readily. The sound of a fart reeks out from where your hands are clasped.

You laugh outright and look up at him. He's laughing too. "whoopee cushion. never gets old. well, i'm sans, sans the skeleton."

You tell him your name and smile a little harder.

 

 

Sans was confused. The way that the human had freaked out and just passed out was odd. He knew that they were the nervous type, probably because they hated monsters, just like Cheyanne had said. But he figured, that with their own kind, humans were easier to handle. But when they had passed out just over something like that, something they had caused themselves. He figured that there had to be a difference. 

After they had been brought to the house, everyone trying to be as careful they could. When Toriel had brought out their soul in an attempt to find out what was going on, there was an audible gasp from everyone in the room. Sans cringed as he looked at it. Frisk was the one who really was the most curious about it, although they seemed to know that something was wrong too.

It was grey and tiny and nearly split down the middle. It honestly shouldn't even be together anymore, and the thought that it still was brought a little hope to the room, but Sans was doubtful it could hold if anything traumatic happened. The truly sad thing was, that with the grey of your soul, it felt as if you had no personality at all and that all your traits that had once been there, had been suck right out of you. It was more than sad, to say the least.

His own soul pulsed in response to your cries. Your dreams, he was hoping at least, were getting more intense, and it showed through your soul. The monsters in the room all groaned quietly at the pain that your soul exuded. 

Frisk knelt beside you, petting your face softly. He called to you, hoping that it would bring you out of it, and so did Toriel. You woke a few moments later, delirious and drowsy.

when you did see your soul, it was no surprise that you were confused, but it was still odd to Sans that humans really didn't understand souls yet. Maybe you really hadn't heard anything.

He had stayed behind in hopes to break down your resolve and get the answers to the questions that Cheyanne had spurred in his mind.

"so what happened," his voice is low and gravelly, and you realize that this is the first time he had ever spoken directly to you. His eyes are on you but he knows that they're empty. He just wants the answers.

"Well, what do you really mean by that? I told you what happened," your voice is soft as if you're so tired of giving all these answers, of being the one who has to explain. Your eyes drift over to him, and he sees the pain that was sitting there so blatantly. "Do you want to know what she said?"

"no. i want to know what you did. Cheyanne kept blabbering on how you pushed her and tried to hurt her." And this was so very true. Your friend had been going on and on about how you had hurt her o many times, and how you had stolen her boyfriend from long ago. Not waiting for you to respond, he continues, "i know Cheyanne pretty damn well, we've been friends for months, and she's never lied to me before. so what happened?"

"She was angry. I was upset that she had left me on my own when we came over for dinner. She gave me less than useful information and didn't tell any of you that I might have an issue with basically being thrown, and for fucks sake she's supposed to be my best friend, but she completely ignores the fact that I just got out of the goddamned hospital-" You stop to breathe and you huff in anger. Sans is still glaring, but less at you than anything else. "I just got out of the hospital. I wasn't fucking working there. I was admitted to the Psychiatric ward about six months ago, before that, I had been in the hospital under close watch because for a while I was at death's door."

"oh. well how the fuck did that happen?" His soul is going nuts. Psychiatric ward? Hospital? Death's door? What the actual fuck had happened?

"Well, me. I did it, and I'm not about to give you my whole life story, but yeah. I did try to end my own fucking life. And I freaked out because she blamed the causes and reasons on me, all while trying to say she was there for me. And she wasn't for most of it if anything." You sigh loudly, falling back into the pillows of the bed. He watches you closely as he tries to process all this new information.

He waits a few moments before saying anything else. "why'd she lie? if she did," he was doubtful. Why would any human, the greedy and nasty humans, want to end their own life? Why you of all of them?

"She was probably embarrassed or didn't really want anything to do with me anymore. Or maybe, deep down she blames herself, and didn't want to face the truth." You look over at him, and his eyelights are back. He stares at the floor, stunned. " I have proof, you know."

He looks up at you again, and you hold out your wrist for him for a moment, so that he can see the raised skin of the scar going from wrist to elbow. He wants to touch it, but he's afraid it would hurt. The scar is so long and raised so high. He wonders briefly how you had done it. He puts his arm down after a moment, realizing it was raised out to touch you. You pull back your arm and pull it all the way to your chest. 

"fuck. i honestly had no clue." he says nothing else, but the two of you stay where you are, not really needing to say anything else. "well, we should probably start over, huh?"

You look up with hope in your eyes. It's a look he figures isn't there very often. The sound of a fart reeks out from where your hands are clasped.

You laugh outright and look up at him. He's laughing too. "whoopee cushion. never gets old. well, i'm sans, sans the skeleton."

You tell him your name and smile a little harder.

 


	9. The Pre-Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the iconic: Sleepover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhh I'm so sorry that it is so short and that I was gone so long. My only excuse is that I'm a lazy shit. Hope you enjoy, and I'll try to update more regularly.

In all of the time that you had lived in Ebott, no one had been as kind as those that were around you now. Although you had to admit that they still made you nervous, you could trust that they had your back. You had known them for such a short time and yet they had been far kinder than your friend of such a long time.

Sans was still slightly on edge around you, and you had no idea why. At this point, you thought that he would have gotten over the misunderstandings between the two of you, but you ended up leaving it with the fact he was probably the nervous type. Papyrus, however, had grown on you pretty quickly. He was horribly loud and slightly narcissistic, but he was nice enough. He was always talking about wanting to cook with you, but Toriel seemed to sway him from the idea because of something about burning the house down. When she mentioned this, you looked over at Sans, who merely shrugged and winked. You glared slightly out of annoyance and tried to gather what the two of you were going to be doing instead.

In the end, papyrus announced that everyone would have a sleepover and that all of you could watch movies and play board games. Frisk seemed delighted in the idea, although they said nothing. You were confused as to how you always had the inkling of what they meant when they did something, and it always left weird thoughts in your head that made you question a lot. Undyne immediately jumped on the idea too, and insisted that she hang with her "besties", and at that she noogied both you and Frisk, making the both of you laugh and try to wriggle away from her strong grip. 

Sans chuckled, "welp, i would come bro, but i gotta head to work. i'll make it back at about nine." Papyrus sighed, but the sad look was only fleeting. He beamed at his brother and boasted that he had his friends to hang out with anyways, Sans' response was said deliberately, (a large wink right at the end), "aw bro, i know you'll be bonely without me."

Papyrus groaned so loud, that it nearly broke your ears, even with him several feet away. "BROTHER, YOU WILL NOT BE MISSED. NEITHER WILL YOUR PUNS." Sans chuckles again and pops out of existence. You jump in surprise and stare at the spot where he was just standing. You look to Papyrus, silently asking what the hell just happened. Papyrus shrugged, "HE MANIPULATES TIME AND SPACE, And that was all he said. You looked at the floor for a moment, trying to wrap your head around what just happened, to no avail, so you decide to tuck away the questions to ask later. You look back to Papyrus and ask what the agenda for the day was.  

"WELL, FOR THE FIRST THING, WE MUST GO AND GRAB STUFF, FOR SPAGHETTI!" At a withering look from Toriel, he adds, "AND FOR NON-SPAGHETTI STUFF!" You laugh and nod along with him. "THEN, WE WILL GO AND PICK UP ALPHYS. THEN PERHAPS THE TALLER HUMAN." At that, you look up at him with surprise. He looks down at you with sympathy in his eyes before explaining, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU, BUT SHE WAS MY FIEND FIRST, AND I BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES."

You nod slowly, trying to put his wants first, and ignore the pain that throbs in your chest as you consider the outcomes of this decision. You don't want to think about how bad it could go, but you know that it's quite possible that it will all go askew.

Papyrus is already out the door with his boots on, and Undyne isn't far behind, Frisk sitting up on her strong shoulders. Frisk waves at you to get your attention, and motions for you to get your butt moving out the door. You slip on your tennis shoes, that sit on the plush rug at the entrance and dart out the door before shutting it behind you.

 

You had never been shopping, or even out and public with the monsters, and suddenly you wished you weren't. Despite the fact that they had been above ground for a long time now, they were still considered a weird sight, and the group of you would get looks that made you uncomfortable. Undyne had caught the way you would shrink in on yourself when you caught the stares, and she seemed annoyed. You wanted to say that it was just the attention that they were giving you, not the fact that you were ashamed, but decided to stay quiet about it figuring that she wouldn't believe you anyway. You just followed the group as you made your way into the store. 

As soon as you got inside Papyrus took off with Frisk in hand, yelling about spaghetti, and that left you alone with Undyne. She only grunts at you and says that the two of you are going to get the snacks. You follow her to the aisle she wants and wait as she grabs bags of whatever she desires. 

She huffs and you look up at her, waiting. You know she has something to say, so you just watch as she tries to form the words. She stares you down, and speaks, her voice gruff, and lower than normal, "Are you ashamed? Is there an issue with us being monsters?"

You frown, knowing what you should say, but wait a moment before replying because you don't want to sound wrong. "I'm not used to being looked at, I like to blend into the background, that's the only reason I have an issue when they look at us," you are being as honest as you can, but the way her sharp teeth shine in the light of the store, and her yellow eye stares down at you with a dangerous glint makes you gulp. Her red hair flows as she shakes her head back and laughs. She claps her large, webbed hands against your back as she does, and nearly knocks you over. you gasp for air as you straighten yourself and look up at the fish-woman again.

She grins at you wholeheartedly as she shakes her head, "Well that's good to know. Didn't want to have to break ya' or anythin'," and she's back looking at the shelves, and you're having a heart attack.

 

Alphys ends up not being able to go until late at night, but she promises the group, "I-I'll m-make sure to bring-ing some anime i-if that-t makes it better," so you all agree that when she gets there, anime is required. Undyne shrugs it off and grins despite the fact that you feel like she isn't all that happy. She frowns when Frisk turns away from her, and you give her an odd look from the back seat of her car. Papyrus is up with her too, so she waves her hand at you, dismissing whatever you were going to ask. You sigh in frustration and worry.

Cheyanne doesn't even answer Papyrus as he calls her, and isn't home when Undyne pulls up to her house. You frown, knowing that she usually isn't out, but try not to think about it too hard. papyrus is only slightly dimmed, but he too shrugs the sadness away and is smiling and boisterous in no time.

You can only hope the rest of the night is good.


	10. The Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleepover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agh, surprise! It's short, but I enjoyed writing it anyway.

Undyne and Papyrus had tried to make spaghetti for dinner as they so desperately wanted to, but after they had nearly burnt down the kitchen, Toriel had taken over and made a nice soup with some crackers on the side as quickly as she could. Undyne and Papyrus were sad for a short while, but their enthusiasm soon returned, and they were back to being their jovial selves. The lot of you had sat at the table, all laughing, and bantering about random topics, as you ate. It had been a long time since you had felt so comfortable with anyone, and the feeling was a warm buzz in your chest that made you feel light. It was new, and calming, and made you want to laugh and dance and enjoy it as much as you could. Instead of doing these things, however, you sat all of dinner, with a large smile that no one could ignore. It was new, and you couldn't say that you disliked it.

Undyne suddenly stood up from the table, fork raised into the air as she stamped her foot onto the chair. Toriel huffed slightly, and slightly admonished, Undyne put her foot back on the ground. Her voice is loud and boisterous as always, her large muscles rippling as she flexes, fork still in hand. Her mouth opens wide, like a piranha.  "So," she says your name, eyeing you with her single yellow eye, "I want to officially welcome you. I know the first few days were rough, and that we were all kind of hard on you," Frisk glares up at her with a small pout on their face, and Undyne revises what she said. "I mean, 'cept the punk of course. On that note, you're pretty okay, and... yeah." She trails off, clearly not knowing what to say next, and huffs, blowing some of her red hair that rests above her nose upwards. "Okay, let's go watch movies!"

She's jumping over to the kitchen with her dishes in hand, and soon after everyone follows to dump them in the sink and move to the couch. You quietly ask Toriel if she is gonna need help cleaning them, and she tells you to have fun watching the movie with everyone else. You decide to do as she says, and move into the living room with everyone else. You end up in the middle of the couch with Frisk clinging to you, and Papyrus insists that he sit next to Undyne until her "Skele-babe", arrives. Everyone in the room nearly chokes on the silence that follows his statement, until all of the group burst into bright laughter at the unexpected joke. Papyrus, being the mystery of a monster that he is, blushes a flush orange. You gasp at the sight and lean forward to touch his cheek.

"Wow," you say softly, amazed by the soft hue that covers his cheeks. He blushes harder as he takes in the odd compliment. "How do you do that? You're bone! Oh gosh, that's so cool," you draw out the 'oo" in cool, and move back, still transfixed by the weirdness of the skeleton, and the fish monster with you. 

"ALL MONSTERS CAN DO THINGS LIKE THIS. I KNOW IT MUST BE AMAZING TO YOU HUMAN, BUT IT IS SIMPLY MAGIC." His voice is so loud, but you try to ignore it as you think about this. Toriel said she had fire magic, so what would these two have? In your curiosity, you ask.

Undyne jumps at her chance to show off and stands up, her eye flaring with something odd before her hand has a large, blue, humming spear clasped within it. Your eyes widen as far as they can, and you let out a soft squeal. You find it so amazing that despite how similar they were to you, other than appearance, they could be capable of such things. You want to reach out and touch it, because oh goodness, it's one of the prettiest blues that you had ever seen, and it seems so enticing. The humming gets louder as you inspect it, and you look up to Undyne, silently asking if you can pick it up.

"You can grab it punk! As long as I don't want ya hurt, you should be fine." And with that, you carefully take it from her hand with both of yours and allow the weight of it to press down against you. It doesn't weigh much, but with the humming, a strong buzz that you can feel flickering through it, it makes your hands tingle softly. You sit for a while, admiring this beautiful thing that couldn't have been possible without these monsters, who had only recently found their freedom. You hand it back to her quietly, in silent awe. 

Papyrus takes this as his cue, and a bone pops up from thin air. It just materializes like it was there the whole time. You gasp again and make another squeal. This finally gets you talking.

"HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS ARE COOL!" And the whole room is laughing again.

You just smile, knowing that they totally are just that cool.

 

 

Sans is annoyed. Normally he's pretty laid back, doesn't really mind anyone doing what they do, but today everything seemed to make him mad. He didn't want to deal with anything at all today. The day just hadn't gone as he had hoped. Luckily, he had gotten off work a little earlier than expected, so he had the chance to go to Grillby's before he had to go home. And that is where he was sitting only a few minutes before he had to be home. Grillby himself stood in front of him, behind the counter, of course, cleaning a glass that was already impeccable as it was. His flames were crackling unevenly, and Sans only grumbled in reply.

"i know, but it's just so frustrating." His hand slaps the counter as he drops the bottle of ketchup down as if to emphasize his point. Grillby crackles again.

 

 

"Alright, since the punk and Goat Mom are asleep, it's time to play," Undyne pauses for effect, "TRUTH OR DARE!" Alphys, who had arrived about twenty minutes prior, totally agree, and so did Papyrus. You figured it wouldn't hurt, so you gave in and let them play out whatever they really wanted. 

Alphys adjusted her glasses as she watched her girlfriend think of something to start with, and turned her smile to you, softly shrugging, and turning back to Undyne. Undyne seems to have what she wants and points a blue finger at Papyrus. "Truth or dare!" He chooses dare, boasting that he can take anything that she throws at him.

She juts her chin out and laughs. " I dare you to.... wear a dress on your next date!" Alphys laughs, and Papyrus just says that he could pull anything off. Undyne laughs too, saying that she can't wait to see what Mettaton would say. You smile, not really knowing who Mettaton is, but knowing that it's all fun to watch anyways. The game continues with you having to stroke Papyrus' fingerbones, Undyne smooching her girlfriend, and Alphys admitting that she has a thing for sailor outfits. 

Sans pops in next to you out of nowhere, and you scratch. You whip around and face him, afraid of what the hell had happened. "'s jus' a shortcut," is his only excuse. His voice is a deep baritone, and you appreciate it as you glare at his pearly bones and smug face. 

"so what are y'all doin'?"

Undyne rolls her eye, "Just some truth or dare, and now it's your turn." Her eye narrows at him. She has something she wants, and the fierce determination in her eyes is enough for you to realize that she's definitely going to get it. "Did you do it? Did you break up with her yet?"

Sans let out an angry growl, something low in his chest that makes your eyes widen and your heart beat fast. "yeah, i did. she got really pissed though. said some nasty things that we might need to discuss later." He lets his eye-lights slide over to you from the corner of his sockets for a moment, before looking back at Undyne.

"Wait, you had a girlfriend?" You speak up, although quietly, kinda curious. You wince when he looks back to you fully, his face a slate of ice with no emotion on it. Undyne seems surprised.

"You didn't know he and Cheyanne were a thing, punk?" She ponders this for a moment, still confused.

You shrug, and look back to Sans, waiting for confirmation. He nods, and you can't shake off how wrong that feels to you. The pity in your stomach grows, but you do your best to ignore it as they continue the game.

After a short while, the topic moves onto some more intimate things. papyrus seems well versed in this, despite how immature he seems to be. Sans is slightly uncomfortable, although he plays it off with the way he sinks into the couch.

"So, she looks up at me and just whines. Still can't get that image out of my head," Undyne is boasting about the way she plays with her girlfriend, and Alphys' normally yellow-orange scales, are a deep red, and she crawls against Undyne, yelling about how that was embarrassing. 

Papyrus laughs and tells a bit more about how Mettaton has such soft legs for being made of metal. Snans bolts upright in his seat and has dark sockets that seem so devoid of life. He's sweating, and you are confused as to how, but that's not why you're worried at all. You look straight at him and smile softly, hoping to quell whatever is bothering. He smiles nervously back, letting his body fall back into the couch as his lights come back.

"So," Undyne calls your name, and you look back to her as she continues to talk. "What do you enjoy in the bedroom?"

You frown. it's deep and etched into your face as if a smile had never once graced your soft features. The silence suddenly weighs down on you heavily, and you can't think up an excuse as to why you despise being touched at all, and what you should even say to explain it all.

You simply keep your heads lowered, and think for another moment before looking up, a soft smile on your lips, although it doesn't quite reach your eyes, and a shrug. "I don't know."

Undyne doesn't seem to get the hint that you're uncomfortable, because she asks, "So what, you're a virgin? With a body like that?"

Your body freezes up, and your heart is pounding again as you try and tell yourself that she doesn't know.

_"She doesn't know. Don't hold it against her, she doesn't understand."_ Your body tries to stop shaking as you rationalize what she meant. 

_"Oh come now, with that body you can do anything. Show me what you are, come on.'_

_"Be daddy's good girl for me, take it in my mouth as I taught you."_

_"Such a beautiful body, such a shame that it's yours."_

You can feel the hands wrapping around your throat and you can't seem to get the voice out of your head. It's Sans that finally pulls you from it, his warm finger bones grasped around your arm, and deep voice rumbling as he tells them to change the subject while he takes you to get a drink of water.

He lets you cry in the kitchen as they start an anime in the living room. He says nothing, just rubs your back in small circles, calming you with the rumbling that pours from his chest so quietly. He whispers that everything is okay, only once, but it is enough to dispel the tears that trickle down your cheeks, leaving red streaks that mar your soft face. You smile up at him, thanking him in the simplest way that you could.

He smiles back, and leads you back into the living room, without ever asking why you were even crying,

 

You dream of warm bones flying in the air, a deep voice whispering, and robots in sailor outfits.


	11. The Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A deal is made.

Warm fingers are curled into your hair, and another set is on your arm. A heavy body is on your right, with another warm figure, most likely the one touching you is on your left, and this causes you to shift slightly, trying to move your arm in a way to move the others. As you look down to see who is touching you, your eyes catch the glimmer of pearlescent bones, and your breath catches. In the dim morning sun, they really do glimmer in an unnatural way. You don't know why, but you suspect that it's because of the magic. You blush as you slowly come to realize that you are staring and finally try to move out of the pile of bodies that encompasses the floor of the living room. 

You laugh silently into your hand as you catch sight of Undyne's face. She's drooling slightly, her arm wrapped around a large pillow, that Alphys is also grasping onto. Her hair is a knotted mess, and takes up most of her shoulders and lean back. Papyrus has flopped over her legs and his body is jutting in uncomfortable angles that nearly make you wince. Sans, however, is nearly curled into a ball and has his arms reached toward where you had just been lying. You smile softly at the cute scene and try to think of a simple prank to pull on Undyne as she sleeps. As you turn to face the kitchen, the groaning of one of the previously sleeping individuals behind you, causes you to stop and look back. 

Sans has his fist in a ball and is rubbing the sleep from his socket as he groggily yawns, and looks up at you. "what time is't," his voice is quiet, but has that early morning husk that makes you stay quiet for a moment as you look at the small clock on the wall. 

"Only seven," you reply, your voice just as soft, and rough from the night. His sockets open wide and he seems to contemplate whether or not he should head back to sleep or not. You smile and head to the kitchen, figuring he'd make his way back to bed as you left.

As you slip into the kitchen, the linoleum tiles shimmering in the early morning light that falls into the room in soft beams of light, you hear the soft pattering of slippers behind you. You turn, and with a slight amount of surprise, realize that it's Sans, who has followed behind you. He looks far too tired to be awake, but he seems to manage it as you laugh to yourself softly. You grab a small mug that sits on the lowest shelf of the cupboards, all of the monsters are pretty big, even Sans who seems tiny in comparison to his brother is a slight bit taller than you. You look back to the aforementioned monster and make a gesture towards the coffee maker. He shakes his head softly as he moves towards the fridge, and pulls out a bottle of ketchup. You gawk at him, thinking that he wouldn't do it so early in the morning. He winks, his grin widening as he does, and takes the largest swig you'd ever seen.

"What the actual fuck, Sans," you whisper-scream at him in flabbergasted horror. This only makes him laugh softly, deep chuckles bouncing off the walls, as his grin widens.

You roll your eyes and place your cup on the cup stand as it heats up your water. You twist around, and look at the skeleton, and cough into your hand before asking him," So, you were with Cheyanne?"

He stiffens immediately and his glowing pupils nearly disappear. "uh, jeez, yeah. we dated for a short while, kid."

You twist your mouth at the uncomfortable feeling in your chest. It doesn't feel right, it's a burning cold that eats away at you, but you know that it'd be weird to bring it up, so you press on. "How long is a short while?"

Sans flickers his pupils from you as he answers, "about three months, kid."

"Why'd ya break up with her?"

Your heart hammers in your chest as he looks over at you with dark sockets that seem like a never-ending void. His voice is suddenly rough, and you quietly wish to yourself that your voice won't crack when you go to speak again. "it wasn't my fault, right?"

He blinks, his pupils back again, and shakes his head. "nah, she just wasn't right to me. plus she kind of ditched us the moment we picked you up from her house. seemed kinda sketchy, if ya know what i mean course."

You nod slowly, but continue talking despite how your throat begins to ache. "She was a wonderful friend once. Saved me from a lot of pain, long ago. I just wished it had been enough, in the end, you know? It's kind of my fault. I made her feel like she wasn't enough. I ditched her and then made her help me the moment I was 'ready' when I never thought to how she felt."

Sans lets these things sink in for a moment. You look at him as he does, admiring the glimmering of his bones, and the way his face is malleable, and his glowing pupils that seem to shift and change as he dazes off into space.

"why'd you want to die?" The question is a heavy one, and he knows that even as his soul pounds because the thought that you truly wanted to die, and nearly succeeded scares him to his core.

 You shift your feet and grab your coffee as you try to come up with a vague enough answer, that he won't question more. You try and fail even as you stir in creamer that he had thoughtfully handed to you. 

Your voice is soft but pitched and cracking as you try to vocalize the pain inside. "It's far too long, ad hard for me to explain. And there's so much that you might not understand, and it would break me to have to explain it in more depth..." Your voice fades as you shake.

 

 

Sans is nearly vibrating with the intense amount of energy and emotion swelling through his soul. His mind is a mess of thoughts, and he wants to ask, and prod, and force out the answers he wants, but he can't bring himself to when he sees you start to shake. His sockets widen as he watches you crumple into your hands, silent as the grave. You sit there for only a moment, before standing to your full height, and taking a sip of the boiling coffee. He winces, as you cough in surprise. Your face is scrunched up as you stick out your burnt tongue in defeat.

Sans smiles at the childish action and laughs at you as you sigh. 

"how about, we make a deal?"

You look up to him in surprise and cock your head. 

"A deal?"

"yeah, we tell about ourselves in like, snippets? and we only do this when we're alone so it can be discreet." He pauses, knowing that it all sounds weird and awkward, "i just, i wanna give you a chance. it's been awkward and it's really hard for me to trust people. and ya don got to, i was just sayin' that'd be nice 'n all..." the more he talks, the more scrambled and broken his words get. He feels like he should shrink in on himself right then and there.

"That sounds nice." You say and smile at him. His soul swells and watches you as you nod your head and glance down at your arms.

"I tried to kill myself because it was all too much. A lot of bad stuff just kept happening, and I felt like no one understood. I know there were ways to get help, but when you're in that spot, it doesn't seem worth it." You catch your breath as your face begins to redden, in embarrassment or anger, he's unsure, but he watches your eyes as you talk. "Why wopuld you want to live, when you're stuck remembering all of those things? When you can't really wash them away. It hurts more knowing that you can't go back and fix your mistakes because you're stuck knowing that it was your fault."

Sans grunts and stares down at his slippers, thinking to Frisk for a moment, before he hears your voice again, suddenly falling apart.

"I've made a lot of mistakes, and I just wanted them to go away. Knowing now though, that it wasn't just me, that I can forget it now, is helping me move on." Your eyes are glistening with unshed tears, and he's back to Frisk again. The two of you are similar, but what drives Frisk is their determination. You had little to nothing in your soul, and he knew partially why now.

"i didn't realize that humans felt those things too." It's quiet, the way he says it, but he knows that you can hear it from the way you're looking at him. "i've thought about it too, before. things were shitty, and i thought for sure that we'd never get out, but here we are," he leaves out the fact that he had indeed killed himself, on multiple occasions, figuring that that was far too heavy and you'd be too confused to understand fully.

You frown. "Why didn't you think humans thought those kinds of things?"

"you all are so damn determined, and strong. it seems weird that those who are so strong and have the whole surface, and all these amazing things, would take their lives. it's odd to think about, so if you guys do it, there have to be some awful things up here."

You scoff in agreement, your eyes on him as he drinks more of his ketchup, nearly having forgotten about it. "More than awful, but yeah."

You smile at him, before finally taking a drink of your coffee.

"Breakfast?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh jeez, I've been gone for forever! I'm sorry, the holiday season has been nuts, and I've got some more crazy stuff coming, but for now, enjoy what we haz for now. Pls let me know what you think and stuff like that, it's really helpful.
> 
> Also! Nearly 100 kudos, and 1000+ hits. Thank you so muchhhhhhhhhh


	12. The Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, short arc, but this is the beginning of the next one. Now that you know nearly everyone, we have a long journey ahead to reach the true plot, and get this on the move!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but it's all the setup! Please do let me know what you think, and what you suspect is going on, it'll be fun to see. I'm gonna try and get all the other chapters started soon, so expect more soon.

Sans held his face in his hands, keeping his sockets tightly closed. His frustration was building even more as he contemplated what all of this could mean. He was confused, and he hated being confused. Although he hated to admit it, being in the comfort of knowing what was coming, due to the resets, was something he had come to rely on. However, you were new, and with the date of ''longest without a reset" looming ever closer, it was growing to be more confusing.

He had met Cheyanne in many timelines and had grown to love her each time. She was always kind to him and the other monsters, never giving anyone a cause for concern. He had held her close on many occasions and shared their souls on others. This timeline was different though. You were here, and she seemed irritated and frustrated right up until you suddenly popped back into her life. And after that, she wasn't the same as she had been. A wave of deep anger had been forcefully pushed to the front of her soul, and suddenly she wasn't the kind human he had loved.

It hurt Sans more than anything to have to let her go, to let go of the woman he had fallen for so many times, and with that, a sadness, an emptiness, began to sweep in him. When he went to question you, to question who you were and find out what could be so wrong, you just gave him a look of such utter despair that caused him to stop in his tracks and watch the way your soul suddenly burst with color and then died into a dull gray. It was scary to see a human with so little determination and so little hope.

Sans, still frustrated, sat up and looked out the window to watch the deep blue of the sky and the glowing of the rest of the city that fell below it. The stars were nearly hidden in the glowing of the lights, but the moon was bright and full. He stared up, still mesmerized, as he had been since they had surfaced, and thought of how your skin might glow in the light of the moon. He thought of how your soul glowed similarly to that ball of light in the sky, and how he wished to understand it better.

He sighed and fell flat on his back, back onto the bed that creaked slightly with his weight. He grunted a moment before opening his eyes and staring back at the ceiling. He needed something to do, and he wasn't going to concentrate on the task at hand until he calmed down, so he reached to the edge of his pelvis and rubbed ever so softly, and grunted at the pressure.

His thoughts shifted for a moment to the way your lips moved when you talked and how soft they must be. His hand stopped its movement and he growled at the air and flipped onto his ribs. He hit his head against his pillow and sighed harshly. He was going to need to get you out of his head.

He pulled his phone off his bedside table, phalanges tapping the side with a soft 'click', each time he moved them. He tapped his browser and searched up your name.

His eyes drifted across tons of sites that had your name in the headlines. His soul thumped hard in his chest, and his eyes narrowed. Could you be a murderer? A thief?

He tapped the first link he saw, and scrolled down to the text and began to read.

 

"A young woman finally puts her demons to rest today, as her father is sentenced to fifteen years in prison. Many say the evidence wasn't enough, considering she had no recent wounds to document and no eye-witness accounts. However, with one teacher claiming that multiple times he had questioned her about wounds, and constant absences, the jury was convinced that he was guilty.

He has been charged with child endangerment, molestation, and rape of the third degree. He was originally sentenced forty years, but his lawyer won him fifteen years sentence, and ten years parole. He has been given no bail and is restricted from being able to see his daughter.

The victim has refused an interview, but it is believed that she has been a victim of his abuse for more tbab ten years. She has just recently turned of the legal age, and has registered in a college near Ebbot City. 

Will these-"

Sans stops reading. His soul pounds and his skull aches and he feels like he has destroyed trust you had put in him.

He feels dirty for reading something about you without you knowing. He had no right to know, and his soul aches with the pain.

Sans can't get you out of his head. He knows now, that all of this was going to drive him nuts.

 

 

Alphys sat in her small swivel chair, with a hole in the back so that her tail could rest comfortably, and tapped a finger at the documents and charts on her desk. There were tons of results, but the average was not what she had been expecting. She had honestly been expecting some bland results, like common mixtures and the way that humans had varying measures of DT. However, she found something rather odd instead.

She looks up, looking at the large screen of her computer, and furrows her brow ridges, and sighs. She can't let it get out, there would be panic among the monsters.

 

 

Cheyanne paces the floor impatiently. She had no choice but to call them, and now she was worried that they would see her true motives, and disagree to her terms. They could have everyone else, just not them. Considering how important they all were, she figured it was a fair deal. 

A sharp knock on her door caused her to straighten up and grimace. They were here.

She opened the door and gave a large, warm smile. She opened her arms to the two tall men outside. One had short brown hair, and deep green eyes and the other had light green eyes and black hair. They both smiled back at her. 

"Big bros!" 

 

 

You wake up harshly. Your eyes are straining to look at the moon outside, but a deep feeling in your gut tells you that something is very wrong. You turn onto your side and close your eyes, hoping the feeling would go away.

What could make it worse?

 


	13. The Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hehhhh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, you know that I have to start up the anger somewhere! Also, More snasssss next chapter! Also, sorry that it's short. Lost my drive to write today.

The man, in his mid to late fifties, sits behind the pane of clear plastic in an uncomfortable metal chair, with one hand, cuffed to a large metal bar installed in the wall beside him. His eyes are baggy and red-rimmed, but he's adorning a charming smile, that lights up his deep blue eyes. He's watching the person opposite him with amusement, and a slight amount of interest. The man shifts slightly, leaning into the window and getting a better look. 

The man opposite of him, a man in his late twenties with black hair and green eyes, glares at him openly, and his mouth is in a tight line that leaves no room for argument. His eyes are dark as he takes in the scum before him, and questions why the hell he is doing this, Why should the scum be let free? Why not kill them all? But he knows that this is for the best, and will help them get what they want, so they do it anyways. The older man beside him, grey-haired, and wiry looks as if he is the most respected man that anyone could find. He has a look of confidence, and a large suitcase in his lap. He smirks at the prisoner in his chain and snaps open the case.

"We have some interesting news for you, sir."

 

 

You giggled at Frisk. Their hair is sticking up in every direction, and they have this look of pure frustration as they try and stick it down again. You laugh even harder as they nearly fall off the couch in their struggle.

Papyrus looks over at the two of you passively. "HUMAN, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG," and then he attempts to fix their hair, and now you are having a fit of laughter as now his hand is quite literally stuck in their hair. His face, however, makes you stop and you try to fix it.

Sans, lazily pipes up from his seat on the recliner, says, 'heh, you trying your  _hand_ at cosmetics kid?" You merely glare at him and continue to untangle Papyrus from the mess of hair. "oh come on, that was  _hair_ and square!"

Papyrus groans. "SANS, WHY DON'T YOU USE YOUR PUN ENERGY ON SOMETHING USEFUL?"

Sans winks, " _hair_ is no alternative to this, cuz although it's chaos, _hair_ be a method to it."

You huff and turn to him. "Don't go _hair_ , cuz I'll cut you off like you're  _split ends_ , and up _root_ you. You'll have  _dyed,_ and it'd be better without your lame puns." You crack a smile and continue to detangle the hand, as Papyrus slowly turns to you, and screeches. 

"HUMAN! HOW COULD YOU? YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME!" As soon as his hand is free, he whips around and crosses his arms, mad. You smile and look at Sans who is smiling at you with this dazed expression. 

"You okay, Sans?"

He nods and turns away, curling up and lounging in the chair, presumably to sleep. You shrug and turn back to Frisk, who is finally smoothing down their hair. They sign something quickly, and you cock your head, not quite sure what they're saying. They repeat it, and Papyrus leans back in to rejoin the group.

"THEY ARE SAYING THANK YOU!"

You grin and nod your head, "Of course!" and start talking to Papyrus, "So, what do you do for a living?"

Papyrus instantly looks delighted and grins widely. "I AM ACTUALLY TRAINING TO JOIN THE POLICE FORCE! I'LL BE AMONG SIX OTHERS TO BE THE FIRST MONSTERS ON THE FORCE!"

You cheer for him and lean in to show your excitement at the idea of him actually getting to do what he loves. He clearly looks so excited.

"IT IS SIMILAR TO WHAT I WANTED OT BE UNDERGROUND, A ROYAL GUARDSMEN, BUT NOW I AM ACTUALLY DOING IT! THEY MAY EVEN ALLOW ME TO USE MAGIC IN SPECIAL CASES!"

You cock your head in confusion. They weren't already allowed to? You ask him this, and he shakes his head. 

"IN PUBLIC, WE AREN'T EVEN REALLY ALLOWED TO MENTION IT. THE GOVERNMENT IS AFRAID OF THE EFFECTS ON HUMANS." You nod your head slightly in understanding, but question how it is fair. You sigh and shake your head.

You can hear Toriel saying something quite loudly from the dining room, and assume that she's on her phone. 

"Well, yes, but how does this involve her?" She seems frustrated, but you try to ignore it, figuring that it has something to do with the laws still being made and passed.

Frisk signs a bunch, and you try to keep up, only picking up a few things about the kind of movie the five of you, meaning Undyne, Sans, Papyrus, Frisk, and you, because Alphys has to work late again, are going to watch that night.

You shrug your shoulders, telling them that it can be whatever they want.

A gleam shines in their eyes as they hear that, and they smile, knowingly. You grin, slightly question the odd child and look over at the television.

"-why didn't you say that before? It would have been- no, yes I understand. Oh, oh goodness. Okay- yes, alright I'll put her on the phone for you."

Toriel walks in, a soft smile on her face, one that causes her white fur to glisten as it gets upturned, and she looks down to the three of you. She calls your name softly and holds out the phone.

You take it, slightly confused, and ask who it is. She frowns slightly. "I think they said they were your father? I wasn-"

The pounding in your ears drowns her words out as your face pales. What did she mean it was him? There's no possible way, he had like eleven years left on his sentence... or was it nine? You weren't sure, but you knew for a fact that he could not be contacting you right now.

You put the phone to your ear, and sit their quietly. You miss Sans sitting up with blank sockets and staring over at you, paler if that could be possible.

The deep voice on the other line laughs softly. "There you are, my dear. Did ya miss daddy? I'll be out in a couple days..."

You toss the phone and scream.

 

 

Cheyanne sits at her desk, nearly asleep when her phone rings.

"'Ello?"

"Hey, it's me."

"Oh, hey! What's wrong? You sound upset." She throws away the anger she had had and listens to your frantic explanation and your sobs as they intermix. She nods and tells you to go on every once in a while.

"No, no it's okay. I'll be there soon. Yes, oh no, don't worry, it's okay. I'll be there soon." She smiles as she hangs up.

So you needed her?

 

 

Sans has his arms wrapped around you, his sweater already resting on your shoulders. Frisk is sitting in your lap, letting you pet their hair, and Toriel is off making you some tea. Papyrus fidgets next to you, so you rest a single, small hand on his radius, hoping to calm him. He smiles down at you, although it doesn't reach his sockets.

Sans shushes you once more as sobs wrack your body.

His warm phalanges squeeze your shoulder and he rests his head on the back of the couch, still whispering incomprehensible words to you. You have stopped crying when a knock on the door wakes you from your stupor.

Papyrus stand up to get the door, and you can hear his voice rise in excitement, and you smile, knowing who it probably is.

Cheyanne walks in behind him as he enters the room again, and you can hear her footsteps as she reaches you and pets your hair, ignoring the two bodies on, and beside you. 

Sans stiffens but keeps his hand where it is.

He thinks quietly to himself, that he _"won't leave ya to deal with her, and all of this."_

You cry some more, but quietly as he and Frisk move to let Cheyanne sit down. He shuffles to the floor, but stays near enough, hoping that he is at least a slight comfort.

What else could he do, when it is all crashing down on you?

 


	14. The Find

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toriel gets mad, and some more data.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyyy long time no see. I actually kinda forgot about this, which is why the chapter is so short. See the end notes for some good and neat-o news.

Sans sat still, his sockets focused on the pair of girls resting on the couch. He would not let them leave his sight until she left. He didn't know what it was, but there was a feeling deep in his soul that seemed to be warning him of something. It was an odd feeling, but one he knew he should trust. So there he would stay, watching you and Cheyanne, sit on the couch and do nothing all day.

Cheyanne, however, constantly went out of her way to have the two of you alone. She was always trying to talk to you, and carry you off into another room, trying to play it off as letting you vent in privacy. You didn't notice it, you were grieving and scared, and felt like letting everything crumble around you. It was that feeling of hopelessness that was encroaching on you again. Cheyanne seemed to just want to help, even after the fight that the two of you had had, so you were trying to be as accommodating as possible. You didn't want to shut her out as you had last time. 

Sans had noticed that she wanted you alone with her. He didn't like it, and for some reason unbeknownst to him, neither did Toriel. He wondered to himself briefly, that morning as he watched his brother parade around the kitchen saying that everyone needed spaghetti pancakes if she had that same feeling in her soul that Cheyanne was untrustworthy. Sans wanted to ask, but part of him was still shy around Toriel. 

At the thought of what had once been, his eyelights went down, dimmed. His soul sank as he thought back to how things had been hundreds of timelines ago when he was still so in love with her.  Of course, he knew that trying so hard to get with her each time, was a bad idea. He was manipulating the things he knew, to get what he wanted in their relationship, so the next time around, he had dropped the idea of being with her altogether. It was painful, but he had met Cheyanne soon after and realized that she always came to him, in every timeline, she fell for him. So every time, he took it slow and did his best to be good by her. Of course, this time, it was different. You were here, and despite him and Cheyanne having been together, you were taking up more of his mind's focus. He sighed, softly, and looked back to the couch, where you were curled up, leaning into Cheyanne.

He watched you closely, looking at the mess of your short hair, and the way the light bounced on your skin, and the way your eyes seemed to shine with such beauty and pain. He also took note of how you were curled into a tight ball, thin legs against your chest, and small, fragile hands, grasping onto the opposite forearm for dear life. You were far too thin for a human your size, and he knew that. For a minuscule moment, he pondered why you were. His train of thought was lost as he noticed your eyes slide over to him. You were watching him closely, and as his eye lights met your pupils, you shrunk into yourself again and looked back over at the tv.

He grinned slightly more than he normally did, and started to watch what was on the television. The show was something rather bland, a soap opera that had been going on for too long. He could hear your laugh as he struggled to keep himself from looking at you. Cheyanne was laughing along with you now, and he huffed as he finally went to look at the pair of you again.

"Sans?" Toriel calls from the kitchen, her voice soft. 

Sans huffs again, and stands up, nearly dragging his slippers on the floor as he does.

"yeah, Tori?" He says, his shoulders slumped as he gets to the door of the kitchen. Toriel is standing there, her arms crossed as she looks over at the wall. He keeps note of the face she is making, and says again, "Tori?"

She shakes her head and looks over at him, her brows still furrowed in concern.

"Do you know what she's up to, Sans?" She's asking him as she leans her full weight on the counter.

Sans shakes his head. "nah, i don't know Tori," he says, feeling ashamed that he hasn't figured out what all of this could mean.

Toriel makes a face, not one he's really seen on her before. She's stressed, more so than she had once been, and he can tell that she feels useless as she twists her white paws against the hem of her sleeves. 

"Sans, I am so worried about our friend. What is going to become of her?" Her voice is strained as she tries to keep her stress from it. "What about her father? What did he do that would cause such fear in her soul?"

Sans frowns, his eyelights dim, as he contemplates what he should say. Would telling be the right thing to do? He thinks of how this was your story to tell, and hell, he wasn't even supposed to know in the first place. His mouth parts for a moment and he can feel the vibrations of his growl within his chest, but he doesn't hear anything. Oh Dreemur did the thought of what had hurt you piss him off. He still was so confused as to why anyone would ever do that to their child. The magic is pulsing from his soul and through his bones at an alarming rate, and he feels like he is going to suffocate in it. It is not until she rests her hand on his shoulder that the magic stalls and he can focus again.

"Is there something that you know, Sans?" She says, her voice imploring him to continue his train of thought out loud.  He's hesitating, and she knew it. "Sans," she implores, her grip getting tighter by the slightest bit, "Please."

Sans groans, smacking his forehead with his bony palm, making a  _clack._ "i'm gonna regret this," he says, pulling out his phone.

 

 

Cheyanne looks over at the entrance to the kitchen, her eyes narrowing as she looked over your head. You were completely invested in the show, despite how shitty she considered it. She couldn't control everything about you, but damn was that one of the few things she truly disliked. Her brown eyes took in your tiny form, taking in the scars along your wrists, as she casually wondered if you had taken up starving yourself again.

"WHAT?"

Toriel was screaming, and although she had never heard it before, she was more focused on the way you jumped and swiveled your body towards the sound, your eyes wide. Your hair was an absolute mess, and she smirked at this because she knew you would give up on it being short. She had always been jealous of your hair, but for some reason, you had always kept it short. Maybe the upkeep would be too much to handle, and you'd leave it be.

Cheyanne zoned back in as Toriel came into the room, her chest heaving, and eyes alight with a fury she had never witnessed.

"My child, I ask you to please explain why you are afraid of your father!" Toriel says, her voice loud and clear.

Cheyanne looked over at Sans and grinned at him. He was sweating, and his eyelights were pin needles. He was clearly guilty of something. He turned and focused his gaze on you.

You were locked up, and tense as could be. 

"I, uhm, shit.." Your voice fades as you curl up and stare at the floor.

 

 

Undyne sighs, looking out the window of Alphys' office. "Are you sure it's not just the machine, babe?"

Alphys shakes her head, fidgeting with her hands as she looks over an array of papers on her desk. There are hundreds of them, all with varying colors of the souls she had been scanning as of late. They are all different, from their patterns to their colors, however, each one has a small grey spot in the center. Alphys taps on one that stands out amongst the rest. Her claw taps against it a few times before she adjusts her glasses that rest on her yellow-orange snout. She looks up at her girlfriend, huffing.

"Th-this is bad. B-but it could get wors-se." Alphys says, turning around and staring out at the huge machine that sits on the other side of a large, bulletproof window.

Undyne growls and puts her hands on Alphys' shoulders. Her red hair glistens in its' ponytail as she shakes her head. Her eye focuses on the machine as well before she pulls Alphys out the door.

"C'mon, let's get some Thai food and watch a movie. Okay?" She asks a small smile on her face, trying to placate her short girlfriend. 

Alphys nods and flicks off the light switch as they leave the room.

A shadow, darker than dark, wriggles in the corner before dispersing. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyy! I'm looking for a beta reader! They'd get to read what I have first, look through my notes, and hopefully remind me when I need to write, because I totally forgot.
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://bubble-bums.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> So just go here and message me if you're interested my duudesss


	16. Chapter 16

Heyyyyyyy

 

 

So I know I have been neglecting this, but I swear it's not all bad. I actually decided recently to rewrite this, and I am currently in the process of that. I just want to know your thoughts and anything you guys might want me to change before I get too far to go back.

 

Sorry about being gone so long.


	17. READ

I have posted the first chapter of the rewrite on my page. GO ahead and read it, or not, it's up to you.

ALSOOOOOOO

This one is gonna be slightly more interesting. YOu'll have to read it to find out why.


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